Being a Deliberate Mother

This year, my motherhood quest has been on being a deliberate mother. Teaching, being with them, watching them grow, laughing more, relaxing more and hugging and squeezing more. It has not been an easy journey. I've grayed more, if that's even possible. But I tell you this truth - it has been the MOST rewarding and precious experience of my life.

I have had a year that has taxed me, starting with a virus that has left my skin scarred on my legs and arms - and all the social insecurities I suffered as a result, my sister and her family immigrating suddenly & not knowing when I'll see them again-and all the hoopla that surrounded the event, my father passing away just as suddenly as you can ever imagine. One minute he was with us, 5 minutes later he was gone. And woven through all these events was my brand new expedition into the world of home schooling. A harder journey for myself I could not imagine.  If I had known at the onset of 2011 that such events would have been taking place I do not know if I could have faced it.  THAT is such a blessing - the NOT knowing.  We are stronger in facing our trials when we just have to grin and bear them, dealing with it all as we get through them.  

What added blessings that through all the difficulties - we have experienced such huge blessings. So much precious family time, holidays, laughter, discovering new skills and talents, meeting new wonderful people who encourage, inspire and uplift.  Having each other - appreciating that life can be long, and all the goodness can be held onto for years to come.  

Discovering as a husband & wife, that yes, for us, our joy is indeed not in things - it is in us.

And that we can create our life to be the way we choose, and welcome into our marriage more good than bad, by holding to each other - and turning to each other when we are uncertain of the future.

I heard these words (below) over a year ago and penned them in my special black book, where all my plans and hopes get written and recorded. They imprinted upon me then, and the effect has been lasting.

Julie Beck in the April 2010 Conference said:- 

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

I am striving for this in my life. It is hard, but listening to the right sources for inspiration, make the task seem more possible

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”                    ― Mary Jean Iron

One month till Christmas!

This year, the 25th November was important for 2 reasons...1. The girls had their Dolce Piano Concert & 2. It was my Birthday.  

Each year, I am overwhelmed by the special messages and gifts that come my way.  The love and kindness of others is always the most tangible and memorable gift of course.  Brod, precious, wonderful & amazing Brod (everyone thinks it so I might as well mention it), gifted me with what I wanted, Big Blue clothing- just as I've been linking this up to their site - I've discovered their latest ladies clothing items...grrrrr. But since I've been wearing my gifts for most of the month he did buy some token gifts for the kids to wrap up(there was even a foot scrub from 'Edward & Bella' - how thoughtful!, Check out this Zombie Song - it was our Halloween song with the sweet Twilight reference).  A Black Forest Cake was the birthday cake treat - that man can throw an awesome impromptu party when he wants to, a precious Piano concert, dinner @ Cafe 99 with Hiram & Amanda, a DVD and bubble bath - and then I was absolutely SHOT. 

Now, onto the really important part of the day. The Dolce Muisc Academy Piano Concert for KZN. Our little girls have been attending their piano lessons as faithfully as possible, practicing nearly every day. It has been fabulous watching them work hard and committing themselves.  All their hard work paid off.  Phoebe has been blessed with an amazing ability to handle all situations with ease. Sophie has great ability, but her little stomach gets twisted into a thousand knots. The opportunity to show case her talents was just up Miss Phoebe's street - she was thrilled, and had even invited her Speech & Language Therapist(and my friend), Carmen to watch the performance. Sophie got to the venue early and practiced earnestly to be ready. It was special watching Sophie overcome her fear, which was HUGE and perform so perfectly. I wonder if anyone has noted that I've been watching Mr.Poppers Penguins a lot lately:) 

Life is all about the lessons that we learn.

The people that we meet.

The love we get to feel.

How special, to experience this all in just one day.

Here are some pics:

My impromptu party - little Hope helping me blow out candles

so special having friends pop by

The girls piano teacher, the lovely Samantha Clark

That's a whole lot of stress right there - nerves!

Totally chilled Phoebe enjoying the concert

She did it!

Musical item by Michaela

Missy Phoebe

Gift from Carmen

My R25 Woolies birthday banner that I bought months ago for this day:)

Carrie-Ann knows me well - inscription on the inside, "Bringing your 'happy place' into your home".

In need of a weekend after the weekend

Brod competed in his first MTB race on Saturday. We woke up super early to get him to the starting line at Inanda Dam - so my tiny little eyes in the one shot are totally understandable.  I left before he started...and arrived at the pick up point once he'd already finished. Drat. So much proudness in me now:) He's a marvel. Considering after the race he had to get to a church meeting and then collect the heaviest piece of furniture ever constructed, dismantle it and get it down a narrow flight of stairs and strap it on the car and then drive it home at 60km an hour. Insane. 

Noah is growing his hair - it's pretty big most days - kinda looks like a wig now - but he saw some guy with long hair and that was it. He reckons it looked so cool he has to try.

Brod registering and collecting his pack

Walking around Virginia Airport

Jo found his helicopter

Striking a pose - with hundereds of competing onlookers watching. 

Whoever said large horizontal stripes are flattering - lied.

The finish line

Cheering the riders in

This is Phoebe - totally.

Today

Today I woke up early.

Just as the sun was up - that's early.  I lay there for a bit and then felt someone looking at me. It was Jo. He was squeezed between Brod and I.  How the heck? And when??? He was happy though. And that's a good thing. Jo does not always grace us with a happy face.  He looked at the ceiling.

And said.

'Today is going to be the best day, EVER!'

His cousins were coming to join us for a lesson on Coral Reefs.

So the sun continued to shine and all the world was wonderful - the promise of a new day with cousins.

We read our scriptures - the kiddies and I...Brod was exempt since we took it as our Scripture study lesson since it only started a few moments before 8am. Tardy today.  

And Noah, happy little Noah, said to me - 'Mom, I want to read by myself today, you can help me if I am stuck. But I will try by myself'. So I, the amazed mother(still in her nightie by the way - but it's my favourite one that I'd wear all day if I could), sat and watched. And listened. And was amazed. He spelled the words out first, phonetically - but he read. Words. On his own without me. At least 4 of them without my help. I have taught my son to read. Me, Melissa Von Brughan.  Who goes through life feeling below average at everything, taught my happy little chappie that A N D spells AND. (thankfully the BOM is filled with copious amounts of verses starting with this very word, and. So Noah and I are going to have plenty reasons to celebrate.) and lots of other words too. Happiness is a happy mom in the morning, surrounded by her children, with no make up or bra and the scriptures.  Not sure it's even allowed in social circles to mention bra and scriptures in the same line. Done it again. Oh well.

And then we tidied in a flurry and readied the table for our lesson on coral reefs.  I tried to do an awesome experiment with the kids - and another adult present. Which flopped. Blind - but we'll give it another bash at a later time, when they've all forgotten.  The kiddies were all happy learning, listening, watching and playing - and I was happy for them.

Some more sweet things from the kiddies...

Phoebe is gearing up for a Girl Guides Garage Sale - at which she plans to almost sell all our household goods and any Smosh Art that's lying around and make millions to buy me a Birthday gift, the day after my Birthday.

She does keep checking that I'd be ok with that. The day after and all.  

Can I take a moment to rant about how AWESOME this little girl is at organising and carrying out a Family Home Evening lesson. My mind boggles.  She invited my mom - precious - why had I not thought of that???She drew a whole whack of fish, made her own fishing rod with a pipe she found and some wool and a magnet and wrote scriptures on the back of each fish. We sat reading all the scriptures together. Brod and I looked across at each other, with raised eye brows and felt like the teenagers with the little adult taking charge and hell bent on saving all our souls.   

Phoebe has a crush on a boy. Too precious. They are in a Reading program together - he's older(which is always a plus) and is very sweet.  She was late today, and didn't have a chance to go home and change and do her hair...I felt her worry. We ran into the rest room on the way, faffed and fiddled and she was thrilled. Since she's still 10, I am not worried. I can only imagine the angst at 16 when it happens for real. 

Sophie watches it all.  

She still loves her cuddles and hugs, makes room for her stuffed toys on her bed and sometimes even sleeps under a blanket squashed up on the corner of her bed to give them pride of place on the pillow. She draws her happy pictures of things that inspire her, she writes happy notes in her journal and dreams of freedom from the constrains of her sheltered and controlled life. The other day at Tala Games reserve, on our game drive, she joyfully hung out the window yelling - "I feel so FREE!!!". What does this say about my parenting? 

I think this all begs my attention.  And lots of thought.  

She is, truthfully my most studious child in the house and completes any given task when asked and happily most of the time. This means the world to me.  Juggling 4 grades at one time is no easy task...hundreds of extra gray hairs later confirm this fact as truth.  She is willing and able and happy to help - mostly all of the time. She watches, and loves and hugs and protects and worries for everyone. She calls out to her granny every night from the bathroom to sleep well, and tells her how much she loves her.  She falls asleep in a moment and awakes with a smile. Happiness is Sophie.

Brod has entered his first ever Mountain Biking race - it takes place this Saturday.  How thrilling.  We are all so excited for him and nervous and worried too.  It's a 40km race from Inanda Dam to Durban North. He's riding with our Bishop - so he'll have someone to hang out with for the duration. I am happy that we still have a lot to talk about and laugh about together after all these years...

xxx

It's the weekend