Being a Deliberate Mother

This year, my motherhood quest has been on being a deliberate mother. Teaching, being with them, watching them grow, laughing more, relaxing more and hugging and squeezing more. It has not been an easy journey. I've grayed more, if that's even possible. But I tell you this truth - it has been the MOST rewarding and precious experience of my life.

I have had a year that has taxed me, starting with a virus that has left my skin scarred on my legs and arms - and all the social insecurities I suffered as a result, my sister and her family immigrating suddenly & not knowing when I'll see them again-and all the hoopla that surrounded the event, my father passing away just as suddenly as you can ever imagine. One minute he was with us, 5 minutes later he was gone. And woven through all these events was my brand new expedition into the world of home schooling. A harder journey for myself I could not imagine.  If I had known at the onset of 2011 that such events would have been taking place I do not know if I could have faced it.  THAT is such a blessing - the NOT knowing.  We are stronger in facing our trials when we just have to grin and bear them, dealing with it all as we get through them.  

What added blessings that through all the difficulties - we have experienced such huge blessings. So much precious family time, holidays, laughter, discovering new skills and talents, meeting new wonderful people who encourage, inspire and uplift.  Having each other - appreciating that life can be long, and all the goodness can be held onto for years to come.  

Discovering as a husband & wife, that yes, for us, our joy is indeed not in things - it is in us.

And that we can create our life to be the way we choose, and welcome into our marriage more good than bad, by holding to each other - and turning to each other when we are uncertain of the future.

I heard these words (below) over a year ago and penned them in my special black book, where all my plans and hopes get written and recorded. They imprinted upon me then, and the effect has been lasting.

Julie Beck in the April 2010 Conference said:- 

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

I am striving for this in my life. It is hard, but listening to the right sources for inspiration, make the task seem more possible

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”                    ― Mary Jean Iron